Paranoia is always justified...

Safety equipment is always a good thing to have - My line of work may not be dangerous, but I do have different gloves for different things... one pair for woodworking, and a box of latex for acid-free collage and painting. I also wear ski goggles that fit over my glasses when I'm cutting glass or building, because I've gotten formaldehyde in my eyes before and imagine that getting glass in one of them would probably suck just as much. That stuff burns! So yeah, I would suggest always being prepared for anything, really, no matter what your line of work is. Even us artists take precautions.

I spend most of my time at work holding a brush in hand, or a cigarette during break. I decided to quit smoking today, but it's been horrid, actually, and I have to go buy some and cut back rather than quit cold turkey. What do most of you other artists work with? Brush, pen, fabric, epoxy, dremels, those are just a few of my mediums. But also my soul, my heart, the part of me that knows the path to tranquility, lie in those simple drawings, paintings, or assemblages. It is only during creation that I know calm. It is only then that I feel rested and at home... Why do you do it, whatever it is you do? Is there a good reason or are you just getting by? Not that survival is a bad thing, but I wonder if half of us are really living, or if we're just passing days doing what has to be done, not doing what can make our worlds better. It's frustrating, and yet, bleakly inspiring. So look at what is in your hand right now (besides a computer mouse), and attach some meaning to it.

Well, family disrupted things as usual, but I did get two auctions up, and have other notebook memory to sell, as well as other artwork. The one up is for a contest, held weekly, so I am going to try to post a piece each week for that group, and each month for other groups. However, my dad's scanner SUCKS, and mine isn't working, so this is how the danged scan came out, which looks nothing like the real piece. I'm not gonna sell much art with scans like this:

Yes, my birthday is still 3 whole months away, but that doesn't mean I can't encourage ya'll to go ahead and start looking around for a new car for me, and maybe some cheap auto insurance to go along with it.

I would like:

Heat and Air

An mp3 attachment and GPS (though, I'll settle for a cd player and a G1 phone instead)

Something hearse-shaped or a reconditioned ambulance that I can airbrush and covert into a mobile studio... (Though I will also settle for a van or a truck with a cover on the back).

Japanese or American made vehicles preferred. G1 only as far as buying me a new phone. Yes, this is greed, but I like to make lists to cheer me up. For those of you who are cheap, go the usual safe route and get me some shitajiiki or cosplay supplies, even doujinshis (though you'll be hard pressed to find ones I don't have). And for those of you who really love me, L or Shinji mannequins will suffice to replace my current plushie. L must be posed awkwardly and come with Black Black along with Pocky.

This is my capitalist post for the week! I have to finish working graphics and creating my stores, and painting while I work on the World of Warcraft addon in LUA. Bwahahahaha. Beware the emo poetry I am going to post if I decide to be that utterly devoid of common sense.

Neurosurgeon will not take my insurance so I'm going through this months long process again, but in the meantime, at least I get a free term life insurance quote. I have some dismemberment and life insurance through my credit union, but it's only $12,000, which really isn't enough to leave my son in good shape or send him to school. I plan on being cremated if my body isn't claimed for science (I'm an organ donor and encourage everyone to be, even if the organs are only good for class studies to help interns advance in their skills) so I would like to have better life insurance given my constant health problems.

Does anyone know the exact difference between term life insurance and the normal type of life insurance? I know what my dismemberment and death covers, but I know there is a difference with term life, so it's worth looking into. As much as I would like to live forever and watch my son cure cancer, it's not possible with my history of illness and injury. This really sticks in my mind because yesterday, we saw a horrible thing on the freeway. It narrowed down to two lanes, and we finally saw why... a burned out shell of a family van that had exploded, and the lanes were covered with gasoline. A horrible thing to see during the holidays, and there were no medics... I really hope the family is okay, but I have no way of knowing. It made me cry, though I suppose I cry more often that I have my little angel Gryphon to worry over. And I do worry... All the bad things in the world, and I cannot always protect him. He's nearly a teenager... And I wonder when the tables will tilt and he'll be my protector instead of the other way around.

I hope that you are all having a good break or vacation, and drop me a text on AIM if you can. I feel very alone right now, so I could force myself to go out. <3 to you all.

Lucky me, I get to have a huge needle shoved in my back and a CT scan done since an MRI is out of the question due to the metal in my back. I've read some excellent books on Adobe and am creating new tutorials, and working on the best addon for WoW that I could think of, so I'm trying to not let it get me down. The pain pills make me dizzzzzy though. o_O

Go read The Darkest Evening of the Year by Dean Koontz. His prose has grown tremendously.

Okay, so for now I suppose I'm still in school, and got an A in my Database Management class, which should make it easier if I ever decide to apply for any admin jobs, but they've screwed up my financial aid still - Mind you, we've gone over this and submitted the package about EIGHT times. So I have no idea what this means, whether I will end up owing the college for this term since today is the last day and I'm not sure if it will go through in time. And if that's the case, I'll officially never get my college degree, and I'll have 'no future' stamped on my head.

Really, this is JUST what I needed on top of this unbearable pain to get me in the Christmas spirit. Please pray for me or do spell work or whatever you do as far as those two issues, because I can't even get any pain management until the 29th and I'm in tears. Makes it hard to paint or study or write articles.

My favorite workout routine is doing Para Para, what's yours? I like my elliptical with my mp3 player as well, but it seems like a lot of people are trying to find ways to boost their weight loss (Ra knows I really would like to be a lot skinnier so I could wear a sexier costume to the anime convention) such as Ephedrasil hardcore. I may try some diet meds in January, but not quite sure if I can handle anything that includes an upper when I'm already on so many downers just to act normal. Doesn't really help that Aislin sent us delicious cookies. XD

Completely random note to self - buy shot glasses for Christmas since Gryphon broke her favorite ones today. And please no more drama, people. I've had so much of it from everyone, even people who, like, don't talk to me at all. I'm a holiday drama magnet...

is dead, not that many people pay any attention. They will once it goes into effect, but then it will be too late. Too bad... I've been ranting about this for years, and now Google has jumped on the bandwagon, despite having been an advocate FOR net neutrality all this time. Shame on you, bunch of sellouts. You did a great thing by getting an open source phone out on the market, then you trample the very concept of open source? That's just wrong.

For those of you who don't know what net neutrality is, it is essentially the fact that no matter what your ISP is, all content loads at the same speed. Without that, the ISP will strangle bandwidth when you try to visit a competitors pages, or pages that don't pay them to load content, so that many sites may not even work with your internet. Should have been paying attention, ne?

But, well, we all know that if Google has decided to go to the broadband companies to give higher priority for it's content, everyone will follow suit, and ISPs will be split up into what content you can use with them, which just SUCKS.

Google says it is still committed to net neutrality, but their actions prove otherwise. I think the Wall Street Journal was correct.

This is censorship, plain and simple, and is a bad thing for internet users and small startups everywhere. It's UnAmerican, anti-capitalist, and STUPID.

So, it's that time of year, where the post office is usually crammed with people loaded with gift cards and other things to send for the holidays. With the economy so unstable, which companies are you willing to buy cards from? I know these are more popular among my crowd lately, because some of us are so nitpicky about everything that it's best just to let the person choose their own gift. My son got assigned a person he barely knows at school to give a gift to, so what are we supposed to do? It's a secret, so he can't go asking what he likes. Is it rude to give a gift card then? I think it was rude of them to assign such a thing to elementary school kids... You shouldn't be obligated to gift someone. What if that student doesn't celebrate Christmas? And what if the family is so poor that buying an additional present means not getting medication, or skipping meals just so their child doesn't have to be embarassed and the other child doesn't have to be the only one who recieves anything?

Personally, yes, I am giving some gift cards this year. But, honestly, I'm pretty broke, and in a lot of pain, but I am still handmaking some gifts... I'm almost finished with the handpainted leather DS case, so that I can post pictures, but as always, I'm on AIM and you can let me know.

I think the idea of creating your own custom gift card is really awesome, though. It adds a personal and creative touch for those of you who aren't handy with the artistic supplies. I'd like to design a card from there just to use myself, since I'm so into customized items. ^^

I HATE THE INTERNETS.

I posted something, some stuff straight from the heart, and it ate it. Sorry, I can't rewrite it, it was just words pouring out from me that actually had some meaning for once, lost forever in the unknown cyber world. [ cries ]

Well, I know you're not accustomed to such sentimental leanings from me, but here are my holiday thoughts. Please read, despite the sappiness, rate and pass on if you like it, and stab your internet if it eats your thoughts too.

I'm so discouraged now. That teaches me to write from the heart and not save it elsewhere. D=

I might get a new car (okay, not new, but new to me) in my own name for Christmas or for my birthday in March, so I looked at auto insurance. I have a perfect driving record, have finally hit an age which isn't considered a risk, so I might be able to afford a car on my own without driving one that is in someone else's name. Scary, but then again, I'd be allowed to airbrush it, so that's exciting, ne? It would be really nice to have heat and air, along with working music so I don't have to wear half of my headphones to have music to drive to and still be able to hear ambulances. I haven't decided on how much coverage, or all of those details, which are all so complicated, simply because I don't have the vehicle yet. I won't need full coverage if it's an airbrushed junker, but it's good to be able to get different rates.

Okay, here's a tip for those of you who are shy, or perhaps in a rush: do NOT carry a World of Warcraft book around in public unless you want to get into a very enthusiastic discussion that annoys other people. XD

No, seriously, wicked cool that half of Gry's martial arts class plays, but we were so late getting home, and Sifu had to come say something about loitering, and I'm easily embarassed. So anyhow, I created a character on their server, but there's a queue, so I'm just playing on my normal one until I talk to them again and maybe set up a time for Gry to play online with them...

Heehee. There's a lot of us, aren't there? I love that game.

As we're seeing, unemployment in some locations is at an all time high, and times are even rough for those of us who work from home and go to school. I've looked into franchises in the past, and I really think that they're a great idea for people who are highly motivated and creative. I mean, there are so many cheap places you can set one up at, for such a small fee, and yet have huge sales and a huge market of people. For example, MTAC, which is our local anime convention, doesn't charge much for the main room for sellers, but there is a constant crowd. There is also a dealer's room, which costs more, but it's hard to get into due to the line, and I shopped a lot more at just the crowded main room, and had so much fun being able to photograph all the beautiful costumed people. You barely have to adjust your marketing according to the crowd, so they're something to look into if you're out of work but have enough savings to do your own start up small business.

So we're officially in a recession, yet the rich who have mismanaged their assets are getting handouts to keep running companies noone has the money to buy from, while those of us who can barely afford groceries or rent are still screwed. Nice job, idiot government. Don't suppose any of those BILLIONS will go towards paying the few thousand I have in debt? Yeah, I didn't think so. I guess I just didn't have enough lobbyists this season.

Okay, I'm making a page to keep updated with my WOW characters and their various skills, items to trade, and items needed.

What do you consider the best add-on? I'm going to be designing some, but I rely on Carbonite quite a bit, and some that were given me I just don't understand at all.

So who wants to quest with me or trade items for enchantments or other items?

I'll put a link to that page up top with the other two sites too, because I'm completely addicted and would love to help you out. I'm already in a guild, so please don't ask me to join yours, but all our members are friendly, and helpful, and we aren't the type to call need on rolls, either.

Okay, so black friday was mostly a bust for me, though I did get a few items. A few years ago, Aka gave me the best Samsonite luggage to use as a rolling art case, and it's still one of the best presents ever, because it's so durable that despite several moves and a lot of use, there isn't a scratch on it. I can store my super large work in it, slide it between the couch and wall, and not worry about damage. So what are you all giving out for Christmas? I've decided on some strange items this year, but I think Gryphon will love the World of Warcraft programming book I got him even more than his Rock Band Special Edition. Yay, geekdom! I'm so happy my kid is so much like me... we can spend weekends producing game development and learning LUA.

Since I don't plan to stay where I'm at more than a year, if that much, my soon-to-be roommate and I will soon be looking at moving trucks. I have quite a bit of gear, and it'll end up being cheaper and quicker than repeatedly loading my dad's pickup and driving back and forth, especially if we move quite a bit aways from my parents house. Most of my stuff is still packed, amusingly enough, though that makes it hard to find certain items. I have a gallery, an auction and store section, an arts and crafts section, a massive collection of electronics and computing gear for school and other things, probably a hundred programming books, not to mention the anime collections, or the gaming center, which takes up quite a bit of our time and space. So we will definitely need a truck, and possibly some movers to help us, especially given my airbrushing center with the compressor that weighs more than I do.

Happy Thanksgiving to all my fans! giggles As if I have that many, but well wishes to anyone who crosses this path during their journey across the internet.

I'm zonked on pain medications - Thank God for those during major events, ne? Registered for MTAC, so now I have to work on a NON Naruto outfit for the Ninja event, because I'm going to throw up when 99% of cosplayers show up as Naruto. It was an astounding 80% this year, so now that it's a ninja theme, I'm sure I'm going to have very boring generic photos. Any ideas on who we should go as? Me and the chibi, of course, unless my darling Aislin can make it, but our normal cosplay will be as Evangelion, which was NOT represented at all this year. I'll be the oh-so-charming Asuka and chibi Gryphon will be Shinji for me to beat up on during the Para Para competition.

And I lost some weight! Need to lose more but I'm in so much pain lately... Maybe I'll get some time to practice my routines after cooking today? Taking some courses from my ACM membership, and found several game programming guides online in their library, so that should help me and Gryphon out quite a bit. Games section has been designated to him for the time being while I work on the store and inventory, and the separated category blogs.

Also, I finished my NaNoWriMo novel! I get a badge for the first time! So tickled about that... the novel didn't quite reach it's conclusion but I'll finish it for a publisher or agent. Much love <3